What to Do When a Kid Hates Their Name
Names are an essential part of who we are and many of us feel a strong sense of pride when it comes to our given name. It’s a reflection of our upbringing, culture, and family. Kids, though, may feel differently. They might not like how their name looks, sounds, or fits with their self-identity. If your kid hates their name, there is a way to help them come to terms with it.
Explain the Significance of Names
Kids love stories, and it can be useful to spin a tale of the origin of their name. Whether the story is true or embellished, tell a tale of their name’s origin and the history behind it. Explain the importance of what their name means and why it was chosen. Make the story fun, while tying in the significance of their name and why it has value.
Focus On the Positive Associations
After your kid understands the backstory, it’s time to move on to the positives. How does their name make them unique? What does it say about their heritage and the family they come from? Ask them to look at it from a different angle and explore the special meaning that their name can bring. Remind them that their name is a representation of their loved ones, culture, and background, and ultimately something to be proud of.
Consider a Nickname
Some kids aren’t quite so keen on their given name, but may still not want to change it entirely. In this case, a nickname could be the perfect solution. Encourage your child to find a name or nickname that they like, that still goes along with their given name. Instead of changing the name, a nickname could be the perfect way to give your kid a sense of ownership and connection with their name.
Create a Nickname or Neologism
Another clever way to give your kid a meaningful connection to their name is to create a nickname or neologism. This gives your kid the power to brainstorm and find something they are proud of, while creating a unique nickname. Spend some time together coming up with ideas and playing around with different words, sounds, and syllables.
Play Name Games
Playing name-related games is a good way for kids to get to know their name better and appreciate it for the unique qualities it brings. Learn about different aspects of their name by playing games like “Name-Token” and “Name-Wheel.”
Name-Token: Ask your kid to tell five fun facts about their name. Have them write these facts down and create five tokens with the corresponding information (i.e. origin, meaning, spelling, sounds, etc.). This is a great way for your child to connect to their name’s origin, spellings, and pronunciation.
Name-Wheel: This game can help your kid to explore and appreciate the unique qualities of their name. Before playing, come up with a list of adjectives to describe your kid’s given name. Afterward, draw a circle and divide it into 10-12 sections. Place a piece of paper inside the circle and draw a picture representing each descriptor. Now, it’s time to fill in each section with the corresponding word. Ask your kid to guess the descriptor connected to each picture. This game promotes positive emotions around their name and encourages children to appreciate its uniqueness.
Explore Other Names and Their Meanings
If your kid is uncomfortable with their given name, it’s important to give them some autonomy in renaming themselves. Encourage your child to explore different names and their meanings. Give them the opportunity to explore different languages, cultures, and let them pick a name that feels more empowering.
Also, remind your kid that everyone goes through this phase, and it’s okay to not like your own name. A little dose of empathy can go a long way in helping your kid to develop a better relationship to their name.
Be Flexible and Compassionate
At the end of the day, be flexible and have empathy. If your kid is truly uncomfortable with their given name and prefers to go by a different name, it’s important to respect their wishes. Instead of trying to convince them otherwise, make sure they know that their feelings are valid and that you’re there to support them through the experience.
No one should be stuck with a name that they don’t feel connected to or don’t like. It’s normal for kids to go through a phase of disliking their name and wanting to change it. As a parent, the best way to help is to focus on the positive aspects of their name, look for creative solutions to make it more appealing, or give them the freedom to explore and come up with an alternative. Ultimately, the key is to be flexible, empathetic and always there to support your kids, no matter what name they choose.